Your Life or Mine?
by katierosefun
Summary: (Collaboration story with Synthetic-Skywalker) After the leaving the Order, Ahsoka Tano has set out a new life as a bounty hunter. However, when a mysterious client hatches a plan for her to murder Anakin Skywalker, conflicted love and suspense gets in the way.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

Ahsoka Tano—

Ahsoka was perched on one of the many skyscrapers that dotted the grounds of Coruscant. She could feel the wind sweep through her lekku and a small smile formed on her grey lips as her sharp, quick eyes caught sight of her target.

A small, green-yellow scaled Rodian glanced nervously around the streets as it makes its way down the alley and Ahsoka smirked. 'You think you're safe…' she thought to herself as she jumped down to a different spot on another skyscraper. The Rodian peered over his shoulder and quickly rushed into a building. Ahsoka crossed her legs and a split second later, the Rodian ran back out, only with a pocket in his tunic bulging. 'Guess again,' Ahsoka thought and she leapt down from her hidden position, quickly softening her blow with the Force. "Going somewhere, sleemo?" Ahsoka hisses in a low, hostile voice as she lands in front of the Rodian. The victim jumps, obviously caught off guard and backs away slowly.

"I'm running away from _you_?" he asks incredulously in a heavily accented voice. His eyes wandered up and down Ahsoka's figure. "You're a girl!"

Ahsoka's hand curled around her light saber hilt but doesn't whip it out. She didn't bother using her light sabers these days anymore unless the job came down to drastic measures. Frankly, this Rodian didn't seem to fit the description of a situation in using her lightsabers. "Sexist pig," Ahsoka says dismissively and in one, quick yet efficient blow, her fist connects with the Rodian's forehead and he's out like a light. The Rodian drops to the ground, unmoving and Ahsoka wipes her hands on her leggings, satisfied with her work. She kicks the fallen Rodian with the tip of her boot and activates her comlink. "Willie, I've got the suspect. The cops are going to show up soon," Ahsoka says smoothly.

A hoarse, female voice speaks on the other end and says, "Good job, Ahsoka. Come back to headquarters right away for your payment."

Ahsoka nods and says, "I'll be there, Willie." She shut off her comlink and waits for several more moments for the cops to arrive. Once the Rodian is pushed into the speeder, Ahsoka gives herself a small, terse nod and hurries off.

A data pad is pushed towards Ahsoka as soon as she steps into Willie's office. "What's this?" Ahsoka asks lightly as she sits herself down on the plush seat.

"Your next assignment," the woman says from behind the desk.

Ahsoka looked up at Willie. Her smile faded as she sees her boss' serious face. She knew Willie fairly well now and knew enough that she was a tough one who always seemed to run things smoothly and quickly. It was a talent that not many people had. Willie had grown up with street smarts and knew how to set straight even the worst gang leader of Coruscant straight.

No, Willie wasn't someone to be messed with and if she said that something was wrong, then something was _wrong_. Ahsoka's bright blue eyes searched Willie's icy, cold, pale grey ones and she frowned, glancing back at the data pad. "I don't understand…the goal isn't written down here at all." Ahsoka says thoughtfully, tapping her fingers along the polished wooden desk in front of her.

"That's because our little client wants to keep it secret," Willie says in a low voice. Ahsoka looks up, an eye marking rising in question. Willie sighs and continues, "I don't know who the hell this guy thinks he is, but he says he's willing to pay a rather hefty sum for this deal… He requested you to do his job and I'm expecting you to fulfill it."

Ahsoka crossed her arms. "You know I have my limits, Willie," she said defiantly.

Willie scowls. "I'm not fooling, kid. I don't give a shit, but you better do what this gentleman wants or else you won't have anywhere else to go and you know that as well as I do," she hisses.

Ahsoka frowned but straightens herself. "Where's the guy?" she asks harshly.

"He's meeting up with you tomorrow here in my office at ten o'clock in the morning," Willie says, standing up. "I want you to be in this office stat, be here even ten minutes earlier if you have to."

Ahsoka traced her lightsaber hilt with a finger and inspects the dust that was left behind on it. She rubs it off on her skirt and says, "I'll do what I want. After all, he's my client."

Willie snorts. "You think you've known everything about these kind of hustlers, kid? _Wrong_. They're not those stupid droids that you used to fight all the time; they're sharp like every other smart ass in Coruscant," she says sharply. "You may have the strength and the skills, but you don't know anything yet. You're not even a half of a foot out the door. Don't get comfy."

Ahsoka waved her hand off dismissively. "Oh, trust me, Willie, I won't," she says and walks out of the office, the door sliding closed behind her with a hiss of air.

•◊•

As Ahsoka rested herself on the bed in her apartment, her thoughts began to drift to what Willie had said. _"They're not the stupid droids that you used to fight all the time; they're sharp like every other smart ass in Coruscant," _her words hissed.

Ahsoka sighed, turning over on her side. She tapped the surface of her bed thoughtfully and laughed out loud. Not all droids were totally stupid. Why, good old Artoo was pretty quick in thinking skills, and to some people, it was almost human.

Some people like Anakin.

Ahsoka's breath got caught in her throat and she pressed her cheek against the pillow. _'No, no, no, no, no…I will not think about Anakin…not tonight. I need to be focused for tomorrow!_' Ahsoka thinks indignantly to herself.

But the memories came no matter how hard Ahsoka tried to push them out of her mind.

Ever since she had left the Order, Anakin had been the only thing that she clung onto as she went into the bounty hunting business. It was hard. Sometimes, she would miss him so much that it made it harder for her to breathe.

She could be doing something simple, like knocking out another criminal, or taking a shower and suddenly, his face would be swimming in front of her eyes. His laugh would be echoing around her, or his strong hand would suddenly be felt on her arm.

It would only last for a minute, though.

Just a minute before Ahsoka would be forced to be dragged down to reality, where Anakin was _not_ with her, and she would never see his face again. She swallowed, trying to keep her tears at bay and let out a small, choking sob.

Ahsoka had loved Anakin. She cared about him so _much_, and it had hurt to leave him at the top of the Temple stairs like that.

But the Order was corrupt—she had realized that. She knew she would have to leave sooner or later, but leaving Anakin was a different choice… "_You're making a mistake,_" he'd said to her.

"Stop it!" Ahsoka hissed out loud and buried her face in the blankets. "Don't think about him! Don't think about him! You left him!" Sobs began to shake her entire body and she curled into a small ball, desperately trying to compose herself in the dark of the night.

_'I wonder if he misses me, too…'_

•◊•

Ahsoka tapped her fingers on the polished desk sitting in front of her. The dim light of Coruscant's morning shone through the blindfolds of the single window on the wall. Her mood was irritable and tired from last night's usual night mares.

It was always the same thing—she would see herself with Anakin again, training beside him again, and watch it all disappear as she watches herself walk down the Temple steps.

Ever since she left, the same vision haunted her again and again. Watching her old life and then watching it being taken away…nothing was more painful than that.

_'Stop. You're not here to mope; you're here to get this stupid job done. Focus, Ahsoka.' _she thinks to herself and her knuckles whitened as she grips the edge of the desk.

The door suddenly slid open and Ahsoka straightened herself, trying to look as official as she possibly could. Her new client had a hood hanging low from his head, his movements lucid and graceful. Yet, she could feel a coldness radiating off of him and knew that he wasn't safe to be around.

Still, she stayed.

"My apologies to keep you waiting," a deep, strong voice says from underneath the cloak, "but I wasn't sure that you would show up."

"I don't run from my assignments," Ahsoka replied coldly.

"Perhaps not. Your reputation precedes you, Miss Tano," the man replies, chuckling icily.

A shiver went down her back and she folded her hands gently onto her lap. "State your requirement," she says in a smart, business-like tone.

Ahsoka watched as the man gracefully intertwined his thin, skeleton-like fingers together on the desk. "I like to play games, Miss Tano. Would you like to play one with me?" He asks suddenly.

Ahsoka blinked and felt an ice block settle on her stomach. However, she nodded. "Fine," she replies coolly.

"I'm thinking of a certain person… The person who I want you to kill," the man says and a shiver went down Ahsoka's back. He's what Willie called a 'twisted Jack,' meaning someone who took lives for granted. She simply nods. "Alright, then…the game is simple. You ask questions, and I'll answer…Later, you get to piece together the clues and find out who your victim is," the man replied.

Ahsoka bit her lip and finally asks, "Is the target a female?"

"No," the man replied.

"Is this man a well-known criminal in Coruscant?" she asks, warming up a bit.

The man laughed. "No, of course not. Rather the opposite," he says.

"What do you mean?" Ahsoka asked slowly.

"No, no, no. _Only _yes or no questions for you, missy!" the man replied cheekily.

Ahsoka felt dread slowly blanket itself over her. She couldn't explain the tugging sensation in her stomach—she just knew that whatever the outcome was, it would be bad. Ahsoka let out a small sigh and asked, "If he's not a criminal, is he a simple, average person here?" the man shook his head. She swallowed and whispered, "So…is he a…hero of some sort?"

"Of course," the man replies graciously. "He's looked upon by many."

Ahsoka's breath got caught in her throat as she whispers, "Does he happen to be…a war hero?"

"Why, yes. He happens to be so," the man replies and Ahsoka saw an amused smile flit across his face. The hood still covered up his eyes, but the small, sly smile filled her with fright and suspicion.

Ahsoka swallowed. Her mouth felt like sandpaper. "Is he…on the Republic's side of the war?" She asked.

"Yes, he is," the man simply states.

Ahsoka closed her eyes briefly and an image began to form in her mind. Warm tears began to sting her eyes and she blinked them away, desperate to hang onto this. "Is he…someone I know?" Ahsoka whispered, her eyes still closed.

"Yes, Miss Tano," the man says and Ahsoka felt an alarm go off in her head. Murky emotions began to drag themselves out of her heart and the locked box filled with memories snapped open. Her eyes slowly opened and the man was smiling widely now. She could count each and every one of the yellowed teeth and he says, "Have you guessed the target, Miss Tano?"

"Yes," Ahsoka says shakily.

"Good… Now, who am I thinking of?" the man asks.

"Anakin Skywalker," Ahsoka replied, somewhat dazed. "What do you want me to do with him?"

The man laughed a cold, harsh sound and clapped his hands together. "Isn't it obvious? Miss Tano, I want you to _kill_ him."

**A/N: Thank you for clicking into this story, everyone! I hope that caught your attention! :D Anyways, as said in the description, this story is a collaboration with Synthetic-Skywalker, also formerly known as Anisoka28. Her stories are amazing so check them out! She'll be writing Anakin's POV, which will be the next chapter, and I'm writing as Ahsoka...hope you enjoyed it! We look forward to hearing what ya'll have to say! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2._

_Anakin Skywalker—_

Anakin Skywalker, the Republic's greatest and most renowned war hero of the era, couldn't help that he'd been sulking for well over a week, which is what he believed would be the duration of his frustration and overwhelming sadness. Every day, the hole in his heart served as a reminder that he had failed as a Master. His quarters were fairly empty since his Padawan's departure. He would enter after every mission, a bright smile on his face as he prepared to tell Ahsoka one of his new stories from the battlefield. He was only met with silence and emptiness each and every time.

He kept waiting for the morning that he'd wake up from this nightmare and find his Padawan sleeping in what used to be her bedroom. Unfortunately, that bedroom remained vacant. He hardly wanted to sleep in his own bedroom. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Anakin Skywalker felt lonely. He'd gotten used to having his snarky, little Togruta Padawan there to greet him, to tease him, to spar with. He had gotten used to her presence, her essence, and now he didn't know what to do with himself. If her leaving brought on this much pain, how differently would he have fared had she died in the midst of battle?

The chime that echoed throughout his living space made him sigh. He stood from his small couch and slowly made his way towards the annoying sound. He palmed the mechanism that would unlock the door and the durasteel door slid open to reveal none other than his former Master, the man who had been helping Anakin through his current sadness. "Good morning, Master," he said solemnly. Perhaps it was a good morning for Obi-Wan Kenobi, but it certainly wasn't what Anakin would call a good morning for himself. He couldn't even remember if or when he'd gone to sleep last night. He kept reading article after article on the HoloNet in an attempt to find something that linked back to his former Padawan. Oh, how he wished he didn't have to call her former when she wasn't yet a Jedi Knight. He wouldn't have minded calling her his former apprentice had she stayed long enough to be knighted.

"Good morning, Anakin. Would you care to join me for breakfast?" Breakfast. Anakin didn't have time or a care for breakfast. He preferred to stay in his room and drown out the rest of the world as he slept. Anakin shrugged halfheartedly. He'd be instilled with a routinely manner in regards to meals and breakfast happened to be one of those meals. Obi-Wan would have scolded him had he not joined his Master for breakfast during his apprenticeship. He assumed that still held true even after he himself had been knighted. The question seemed rhetorical now that Anakin thought about it. Obi-Wan wasn't allowing him to answer 'no.'

"Sure," he said quietly. "Give me a moment." The older man nodded and Anakin turned on his heel to pull his robe over his shoulders. He'd become a bit skinnier since Ahsoka left. He didn't blame her for it. He just hadn't had much of an appetite. The dark fabric swirled around his legs as he moved back to the door where his Master waited for him and nodded, stepping over the threshold. He turned only to set the lock on the door. There wasn't much in there that was of value to anyone, but he'd gotten paranoid each time he didn't lock it, so it became habit to lock it regardless of when he left or where he was going.

The two men went down to the mess hall where a vast majority of clones were eating breakfast as well. The war continued even after Ahsoka left and that thought made his heart sink further. He glanced at the table he used to sit at with her and he sighed. Obi-Wan had tried to distract him since she left, but it did nothing for him. Anakin wanted to see her smile, see the way her eyes lit up when he made a joke. He wanted to see her eyes roll when he did something bordering on suicidal or when he was absolutely annoyed with his boredom and bothered her with it. He missed the little things she did when she was around him. He missed her. "As always, your shielding needs work, my young friend." Anakin scowled at the cultured voice now standing in front of him in a long line waiting for their so called 'breakfast.'

"Perhaps you shouldn't try so hard to listen to my thoughts," Anakin muttered. Obi-Wan spun slightly to glance at the younger Jedi. After Obi-Wan's initial comment that had been meant to sound as though he was teasing the young man, Anakin raised his shields and strengthened them tenfold, not allowing even the slightest bit of a thought to escape him. 'I understand what he's trying to do,' Anakin mused, 'but it certainly doesn't help when he lectures me.' Anakin hated distractions as much as he hated focusing, so he wasn't sure which he preferred right now. Obi-Wan would ask him to spar after they finished eating and Anakin would indulge him that, but what was Anakin to do afterwards? He would shower, go through a few more articles on the HoloNet, and then lie in bed to wonder what Ahsoka may be up to.

He was beginning to wish he hadn't even woken up this morning.

•◊•

"Anakin, you need to focus." Oh, that Force damned voice was grating on his every nerve. He wanted to throw the training saber at the older man out of frustration, but that would only warrant him another trip to the Council chambers for yet another lecture on how he need to 'cleanse' himself of attachments and sorrowful feelings. They wanted him to be at peace within himself and he found it increasingly difficult to balance his emotions since they seemed to be eternally bound in such a tremendous amount of turmoil.

Anakin was sweating profusely, aggravated, tired, and exasperated. "I'm trying!" he cried out. Obi-Wan's eyebrows rose in surprise. He hadn't been expecting such a reaction from Anakin. The younger man was always pushing himself over his limits in order to make his former Master proud, but he seemed to be spreading himself far too thin emotionally as well as physically.

Obi-Wan deactivated the training saber he held and motioned for Anakin to do the same. His upper lip curled back slightly as he sheathed his own training saber. He tossed it down onto the mat beneath his feet and Obi-Wan stepped closer to him. "Anakin," he began soothingly, knowing that it was all for naught. His former Padawan was far too volatile to be talked to in such a manner. "You need to move on. There is nothing you could have done to prevent her from making the decision herself."

"I should have done something," Anakin hissed. He firmly believed there had been something crucial he had missed and he felt that it may have been something crucial that could have kept Ahsoka here. Here, with him. Though he would never–could never –admit it, he loved his apprentice. He had high hopes of making his feelings known to the young Togruta after he successfully proved her innocence, which he knew he would. He had endured a horrid relationship with a certain senator of Naboo for too long, denied himself his true feelings for too long. It wasn't the senator who he loved. It had been his apprentice who had come into his life not too long after his marriage to the aforementioned senator. "I…I could have done something," he said, much quieter than before.

The older Jedi gave him a sad smile. Anakin didn't realize how proud his Master was of him. Anakin always had such difficulty with his attachments and it was no secret that he'd become attached to the girl. "You did everything in your power," the Jedi Master said reassuringly. "It was her choice to make in the end. You provided a light at the end of a very, very dark tunnel, Anakin." Anakin's eyes lifted to meet his former Master's and the latter smiled. "You guided her well. You saw her through one of the roughest moments in her life. You should be proud."

'But she left me,' he cried out mentally. 'She's gone and she's never coming back. Why should I be proud of that?' He was continuously paining himself with each thought. As much as he would have loved to stop thinking about Ahsoka, he wanted a reminder. The pain reminded him that she had existed in his life. It had been short-lived, very short-lived, but it had been time he'd treasured most. He would miss Ahsoka until the day he died. He would never see her again. It was impossible now that she was gone. "Yes, Master," he said, casting his eyes towards the floor.

"What do you say we try sparring again, young one?" Anakin forced a smile and nodded. He would try for his former Master's sake to act like himself. He wouldn't be himself for quite some time though. The two men gripped their training sabers as they would have their real light sabers been in hand. They shifted into their former positions on the mat and prepared to duel one another for what seemed like the thousandth time. This sometimes served well as a distraction. At other times, it did quite the opposite.

•◊•

Anakin shrugged out of his robe, which then was followed by his tunics as he made his way for the refresher. He left a trail of clothes from the entrance of the dormitory all the way to the sink in the refresher and all he had left to do was yank his stubborn boots off. He spun to turn the water on and waited a few moments. His eyes shifted him towards the mirror that had been behind him moments ago. He was now staring at himself in the mirror and he saw so many vindications for his belief that he'd failed.

He lifted his hand to trace the saber scar that marred the skin above and below his right eye. It had been his arrogance in combat that– He stared at the black, leather glove he'd lifted to stroke the scar and scowled. He had two physical reminders of failure on his own body. He'd gotten so used to having the cybernetic limb that he almost forgot it was even there. He was only flustered about it when it malfunctioned or when it received odd stares from his companions. "Some Chosen One," he scoffed, shaking his head. He ripped himself away from the mirror and stripped the leather glove from his hand, revealing the black and gold plating that covered the wires beneath.

He finally stepped into his shower and relished in the warmth the water drowned him in. His body immediately relaxed beneath the water droplets pummeling it. He stood still for several minutes, basking in his warm high. Ever since he'd escaped his former life on Tatooine, the water had become a much appreciated gift to Anakin. He sighed upon mentally comparing the warmth of the water to that of Ahsoka's body. He'd hugged her once or twice during their time together and it meant quite a bit each time. The very first time he'd held her against him, he'd revived her on Mortis. She was a gift of the Force that he would not let slip through his fingers so easily.

Unfortunately, he let her slip and there was nothing he could do to gather her in his arms again. The time for that was long gone now. It would only be by sheer miracle that he would ever be reunited with his apprentice. He longed for the day that miracle came, but feared that it never would.

He soaped up his hair and body quickly, no longer desiring the warmth of the shower. His heart was pounding sorrowfully in his chest and he wanted so desperately to take comfort in his bed where he could hide beneath the blanket until morning. Once he was rinsed entirely of the soapy suds, he stepped out. He extended his cybernetic hand out of sheer habit and called a towel into his hand, which he promptly wrapped around his waist. He stepped out of the refresher and a gust of air from the sliding door sent shivers through him.

He ignored the shivering and trudged towards his compartment that held his underwear and sleeping pants, slipping them on once he was satisfied with what he picked out. All of his clothes were plain, so there wasn't really much of a variety to choose from, but he had a few solid colors to choose between. Tonight he would wear black. He chose to sleep shirtless, not seeing the point in dressing himself entirely just so he could go to sleep.

As he crawled into his warm bed to lie on his back, he knew there would be no sleep in store for him tonight. He was too focused on his emotions and he couldn't properly release them into the Force. He would lie in bed and count as high as he could until he was called to duty.

Such was the life of Anakin Skywalker since he watched his apprentice leave him atop the Temple stairs.

**A/N: This chapter was written by Sythetic-Skywalker. Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Ahsoka Tano—

For a moment, everything was silent between Ahsoka and this man. The only sound that could be heard was the faint click-clacking of high-heeled shoes across the hallway and the whirs of speeders passing by through the blindfolded window. Her hands clenched and unclenched as she tried to figure out what else she would say.

"What you ask for is impossible." Ahsoka finally said. "A simple bounty hunter wanting to kill a Jedi would be the equivalent to asking for a death wish."

The man tilted back and shook his head, laughing quietly under his breath. "Oh, Miss Tano, you think I'm clueless, don't you? Trust me, I know all about your experience with the Jedi," he says coldly.

Ahsoka's heart sank and she whispered, "How would you—?"

"No matter," the man says, his head still low. "What matters is that you don't tell anyone of our little enactment and you'll live." He stood up and flicked a small slip of paper on the desk in front of Ahsoka. Another nasty chuckle escaped from his mouth and he hissed, "Remember, you say something, you're dead."

With that, the man left the office.

Ahsoka stared at the data pad and paper in front of her, her mind racing and her heart pounding. Already, beads of sweat were forming on her forehead and sliding down her face. Tears began to sting at her eyes and she swallowed, holding fast. She had known from the past that self-pity wouldn't get her anywhere. Her eyes slowly drifted to the picture of Anakin Skywalker smirking up at her and a small, shaky sob strangled itself out of her.

She couldn't bring herself to do it. She wouldn't. She'd rather die than have herself kill Anakin. Suddenly, a mere, drifting thought floats into her mind.

She would die without seeing Anakin again.

It all crashed down on Ahsoka and it became hard for her to breathe. She bit down on her lip and gasped, trying to regain her composure. She fingered the small picture of her former Master and a single tear squeezed out of her eye. What would she do?

"Hey, kid, what's taking you so long?" Willie shouts.

•◊•

Ahsoka paced her room back and forth, back and forth until the carpeting on the metallic floor was wearing thin and the backs of her small feet were flat from the constant walking.

Night had already fallen upon Coruscant and though the meeting with this new client and happened several hours before, each word was still fresh in Ahsoka's mind. She drifted back to her bed and allowed her legs to dangle over the edge. She rested her head in her hands and tried to control the spinning in her mind, desperate to grab onto one shred of controlled sanity. Ahsoka bit down on her lip and she glanced down at her lightsabers that were hanging at her belt, as always.

She carefully unhooked them from her hips and cautiously slid them into a drawer in the small dresser of her room. Most of the time, she did not trust herself to hide such valuable and dangerous weapons in such a common hiding place, but her head was too jumbled up to even care.

Ahsoka wordlessly picked up her cloak from the hook that was dangling on one side of the wall and slid it over herself. Just like her normal outfit, it was a dark shade of red that somehow blended her in with the shadows perfectly. Of course, it wasn't dark like Anakin's—stop thinking about him!—but she had always preferred that color.

The cloak tumbled down to her ankles and she brought it closer around herself. She brought the hood over her head and quietly slid out of the apartment. Her boots made a soft thudding sound across the carpeted hallway floor and she walked out the doors into the brisk air.

She cringed as the smell of alcohol, urine and vomit mingled in her nostrils and hurried forward, wishing to get away from the putrid stenches. However, as uncomfortable as it was, Ahsoka was somewhat used to it. It sometimes shocked or amused her, especially as a younger child, she would be more used to being in the Temple's clean, neat environment. Ahsoka felt another stab of pain. Well, she chose a different life over that, and even though the Order didn't recognize it, she did—things were changing.

Ahsoka kept her eyes on the ground, trying to look as busy and intimidating as possible to keep away from hustlers or any other danger in the Coruscanti streets. Again, Ahsoka felt a small prick of sadness poke through her heart at the remembrance of Anakin always having her back whenever she walked around with him. He'd always be the one holding Ahsoka back just in case things were wrong, and even though it used to annoy her so much, she wouldn't mind if Anakin came to protect her at this moment.

Her feet moved a bit quicker and she forced herself to think about anything but Anakin. It was too late though. Ahsoka slowly stops in front of the Temple steps, her eyes wide and alarmed. She shakily took one step and paused. She could almost feel Anakin inside of the Temple, but instead of going up the stairs, she slowly backed down.

Ahsoka rubbed her forearm slowly and traced the fabric with a finger. She let out a small sigh and darted off around the stairs instead. She looked up at the windows of the Temple and eyed each one carefully. If her memories were correct, she would be able to locate the exact window of the room to Anakin's quarters. Ahsoka felt a thrill of excitement wash over her and then stopped again.

What was she thinking? What if she got caught? What if Anakin awakes? What if…?

Ahsoka shook her head and before her mind could even process her actions, her feet were already daring around the building and leaping from structure to structure. She clung onto the sills of the Temple for dear life and in hopes of not being seen or felt by any other Force-sensitive user walking about in the Temple's sacred halls.

At last, Ahsoka clambered onto the narrow sill of the window and peered through the thick glass. Her breath caught in her throat when her eyes recognized the familiarity of the furniture and tools lying about in the room. Her breath fogged up the glass and she swallows as she spots none other than Anakin Skywalker in his bed, his eyes closed and being in what appeared to be a deep sleep.

"Oh, Anakin…" Ahsoka whispered out loud to herself, her voice being carried away in the wind. She stretched her palm out on the surface of the window and then blinks in confusion as she spots her former Master in his bed without a shirt.

Despite the sorrow that was overwhelming her; she couldn't help the fact that her lekku stripes darkened at the concept of watching him sleep…without a proper garment on top. If anything, she actually…enjoyed watching him. Ahsoka sighed, longing to be in that room with him and be the one laying down beside him in the bed.

She was getting a bit too comfortable when movement caught her eye and she almost fell off the sill when Anakin's eyelids began to flutter open. Ahsoka hissed a curse under her breath and quickly slipped down to the ground, careful not to make any noise. It tore her heart to think that Anakin might be waking up now just to find that there was no one waiting for him at his window.

She slowly gathered herself and glanced back at the glass. She let out a small sigh of sadness and whispered, "I'm sorry." With that being said, Ahsoka tossed her hood over her head and slowly trudged down the steps once more.

•◊•

Questions were running through Ahsoka's mind as she slipped into her own bed. The very thought of being that close to Anakin made her heart race and her mind slide in and out of focus. She tossed and turned in her bed and tried to close her eyes and sink into sleep.

When no sleep came, she sat up and simply brought her knees to her chest. She watched as dim lights flashed through the slits of the blindfolded window from passing speeders and heard the faint sound of laughter tinkling outside. Ahsoka let out a small sigh and traced the blanket with a trembling finger. It made her angry how there were people out there with lives that were so simple and had problems that could be solved with a drink.

Ahsoka's life, unfortunately, was not as black and white.

Then again, it never was.

**A/N: This chapter was written by me and edited by Synthetic-Skywalker...thank you for all of the feedback, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Anakin Skywalker–

He'd been startled awake several hours ago, but he still hadn't been able to go back to sleep. He could have sworn he'd felt her presence. He'd drowsily lifted himself from his bed and went to the window, opening it for a few moments. He knew she was there. He could feel her Force signature there. It was very fresh. It made his heart clench though. Why hadn't she come in? He stood idly by the window for several, long minutes after that revelation, hoping that perhaps she would come back. He stood there as it began to rain and he felt as if it were a result of his own feelings.

After perhaps ten minutes, he sighed in disappointment and returned to his plain bed. He sat there in utter silence, barely moving. The only time he moved was when he got too stiff or when he needed to use the refresher. He hardly wanted to move when he was thirsty or hungry. He didn't feel the need to eat or drink anymore. He was far too depressed to consider such trivial things. It was so unfair! It was the Council's fault that she left. Anakin resented them for what they did to his apprentice. He'd done everything in his power to save her from such a fate and they'd turned their backs on her. It made him want to turn his back on them. They had no use for Ahsoka, so he couldn't be more important than her. _She _was important to him.

Doing anything around the temple seemed to be such a chore nowadays. He felt like time slowed down and prolonged his pain. It didn't help that he was an insomniac as well. Ahsoka used to spend most night doing her homework that she'd been assigned in her mandatory classes, so it was always a possibility that she was up when he would startle himself awake as a result of a nightmare. He imagined her here with him shortly after he felt her, shortly after she left.

Why did she _need _to leave? He understood what she'd said to him directly. He still held true to his belief that she made a mistake in leaving, but how could he possibly blame her? He had wanted to leave the Order so many times because he felt that they couldn't trust him. No one wants to be in an environment where they aren't trusted. He could understand, but that didn't mean he agreed with it. He made it clear that he was against it. How could he not? He longed for her to be his. Not _just _his Padawan, but perhaps something more. He knew his boundaries for now. She was on the brink of legality, so he'd kept himself and his feelings locked away.

He would not pressure her to love him as he loved her. He was her Master. That was all she'd ever seen him as and he loathed that. He didn't want to be Master Skywalker to her. He wanted to be _Anakin._ These thoughts were not helping him feel any better. In fact, they made him even more depressed. Knowing that he would never even have the chance to pursue these feelings made him feel inadequate. It was forbidden to love, but he still did. He loved his apprentice, but she was gone. All that was left was a searing hole in his heart.

He would have to suck it up sooner or later though. The war still raged on and he was still General Skywalker. Anakin was slowly dying, but General Skywalker was far too resilient to allow heartbreak to keep him from his duties to the Republic. Even if Ahsoka wasn't at his side, he would still fight to keep her safe. He had vowed to himself that he would the day she'd come into his life.

•◊•

Council meetings were still just as tedious now as they always had been. He'd been called in over an hour ago and his legs were beginning to throb since he'd stood stock still for the duration. He listened to the Masters before him speak about the countless amount of sieges taking place in the Outer Rim that were now slowly encroaching upon the Core worlds. Alderaan had been attacked briefly mere days ago. Senator Organa was now making arrangements to resupply his home world since so many markets had been destroyed by the onslaught of droids. Anakin was being asked to escort the senator to Alderaan and that only made the young Jedi sigh.

He longed to be in the field once more. He needed to slice through battle droids and save lives. He didn't want to run supplies from Coruscant to Alderaan, only to return to the former and do absolutely nothing. He felt as though he had no purpose now and perhaps the Council was beginning to see that as well. They were not sending him on intense missions. His Master was being sent into the Outer Rim to defend multiple planets. What was Anakin stuck doing? Transporting supplies between planets. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

He stood silently and nodded as the Masters spoke directly to him. He had nothing to add to the conversation. He would do as his mandate required and that was that. He didn't have it in him to question the Council. He didn't have it in him to ask Obi-Wan why _he _was being sent into the field because he knew the answer would be something having to do with his current emotional and mental state. They probably thought he was unstable, malfunctioning.

Gone was the soft, sensitive Anakin Skywalker. In his place was the rough, war-hardened General Skywalker. He stood tall and took long strides through the hangar of the _Resolute._ His men were unloading the supplies from the smaller ship. He had been the one to suggest taking his flagship in the case that perhaps not _all _of the droid forces had been pushed out of Alderaan's atmosphere.

"General Skywalker," the senator called out appreciatively, drawing Anakin's attention away from his clones. The Jedi General met the senator halfway through each one's strides and he forced a small smile as he greeted the other man, raising his cybernetic hand to shake the human hand of the senator. "You have my thanks. It was very generous of you to aid my people in their time of need."

'_Indeed. Generous_,' he thought. He had no say in the matter, truthfully. "The Jedi serve the Republic, Senator Organa," he returned quietly, nodding his head. "It is our duty to help those who are in need of our services."

The senator clapped the Jedi's shoulder before leaving for his assigned quarters. The travel to Alderaan would take the better portion of the day since it was in such close proximity to the Core. Anakin didn't mind it all too much. It got him out of bed, out of that room, out of the temple. He would appreciate the time away from the environment that drowned him. It didn't take him long to retire to his own quarters however.

He had no reason to stand in the hangar and oversee his men's work. They would thoroughly check every crate they'd brought aboard to ensure that the contents were safe to transport to the needy planet. He sat on his cot with his feet planted on the faintly carpeted floor. What more was he to do? These quarters had been shared with Ahsoka as well and it only served to bring his sadness of the morning back. He would give anything to go anywhere that _didn't _remind him of his apprentice. It's not that he _wanted _to forget her. He just needed time to not _think _about her as he has done very much as of late.

The comlink on his wrist beeped and went from a dull red to a bright green. He tapped the button to answer and the senator's voice spoke. "_General, I know you're probably busy, but we are several hours away from Alderaan yet. Would you care to join me for dinner?_"

No, he did not care to join the senator for dinner. "Of course, senator." '_I would prefer to eat dinner alone_,' he mentally he hissed. "Thank you for asking." He truly was not thankful for the senator's consideration. "I will join you shortly." He cut the connection and heaved a deep sigh. He had nothing against Senator Organa, unless you count his affiliation and friendship with Senator _Amidala _worthy of aversion.

He fixed his robes to make himself look a little more presentable for dining with a senator such as Bail Organa. The man was proper as well as friendly, but Anakin felt like he was put under scrutiny in any politician's presence.

•◊•

Anakin wiped his mouth gently with his napkin after devouring his meat that he'd drenched in multiple types of sauces he was bold enough to try as a combination. The conversation thus far had been very light, but Anakin's felt as though something neither of them wanted to speak about was going to come up. He didn't need to be a Jedi to sense it. He had one of his former Master's bad feelings at this particular moment. He cautiously watched the senator as he continued to eat at a moderate pace. He was excited to ravage such a delectable dinner, but he also didn't want to be very…uncivilized. He smiled a little at that. Obi-Wan always had a way of tainting his thoughts. "Master Skywalker," Senator Organa began, clearing his throat quietly. Anakin's cybernetic fingers tightened slightly around his fork, but he tried to play it off.

"Yes, senator?"

Anakin's bad feeling had not been for nothing. "Have you spoken with Senator Amidala recently?" he asked tentatively. His eyes shifted away from Anakin's, knowing full well that some tension existed between the reputable senator of Naboo and the Chosen One.

"No," Anakin said quietly, "I have not." The senator across from him nodded slowly and Anakin wondered why that had even come up in the conversation. He was mildly curious. Had she told Senator Organa of their relationship? It hadn't lasted, but she was still perfectly capable of ruining his career as a Jedi Knight because of it. "How…has she been? I haven't seen her in quite some time." _Months._ He hadn't seen her in months to be more accurate.

The senator once again cleared his throat, lifting his napkin to wipe at the sauce smeared at the corners of his mouth. "She has been very well." Suddenly, Anakin felt very awkward. "In fact, one could say she's been glowing as of late." Anakin raised an eyebrow at the senator. What angle was he getting at here? Was his intention to confuse the hell out of Anakin?

"Glowing?" Anakin inquired, vaguely insisting that the senator continue. Anakin sensed that something was being kept out of the conversation and it worried him. Yes, his relationship with Padme had ended on a very bad note, but he did still care about her. He didn't care about her as much as he did Ahsoka, but he wasn't heartless to the woman he had formerly been married to. He'd strayed as far from the senator as he could to avoid the awkward feelings they had around one another shortly after the divorce was made official–secretly, of course. It had been awkward enough bringing her in to help him prove Ahsoka's innocence since she was well aware of his feelings for his apprentice. He had been hesistant when he'd gone to her for help, but she was the best negotiator within the senate and he needed to save Ahsoka before it was too late.

He was relieved when Padme admitted that she held no ill feelings towards the younger girl who had stolen his heart while he was her husband. Padme was the mutual friend between Anakin and Ahsoka. Ahsoka was desperately in need of help and Anakin had been the one to bring Padme in, knowing she would do whatever she could to help their Togruta friend. In the end, everything had worked out. Unfortunately, there was one _minor _detail Anakin hadn't been aware of until now.

"Senator Amidala is pregnant, Master Skywalker."

**A/N: This chapter is written by Synthetic-Skywalker! Hope you enjoyed! **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Ahsoka Tano—

Ahsoka didn't think that sneaking aboard a ship was a good idea, let alone a Republic ship with her former master in it.

But she couldn't resist—she needed to know exactly how to resolve her feelings over Anakin to take in this certain case that had been bothering her for such a while now.

"Time's a ticking, kid. Give me your answer soon or else you and the ones around you will be hurt." The man's voice seethed in the back of Ahsoka's mind and she shuddered, wrapping her arms around her upper body in the vents that she was hiding in. She was already taking a great risk on being on the ship alone, but hovering right above the room that he was in… Well, Ahsoka had some nerve and these were one of the times when she either scared and or impressed herself.

So far, Ahsoka had been all but impressive. She had taken a couple of clumsy turns, slipped up in the vents, and had nearly gotten caught by several wandering troopers in the halls. It wasn't until she decided to just stay put above the dining room was that she actually calmed down.

Ahsoka cloaked her Force presence, hoping that perhaps she had gotten better at that habit since the last time she had to run away from Anakin.

Ahsoka didn't realize that she had been nodding off at Senator Organa and Anakin's conversation down below until a couple of words caused her to jolt. "Senator Amidala is pregnant, Master Skywalker."

Ahsoka's eyes snapped open and she covered her mouth to prevent herself from gasping. Senator Admidala had been a good friend of hers through the years as a Padawan of Anakin's—after all, she was the one who took place as one of her defenders in the trial with the Senate. She was sadly also aware that her master had an unusual closeness with the senator—she had been sensing it from the moment she had become his apprentice.

Towards the last few days of Ahsoka's existence in the Temple, however, Ahsoka began to wonder if those feelings had changed. Of course, Anakin was always friendly with Padme but after a while, they began to look—detached. It was always the same smiles and greetings, but Ahsoka had seen right away the slight disappointment in Padme's eyes and she automatically knew that something wasn't the same.

Ahsoka bit down on her lip and watched carefully at the reaction that was etching itself into Anakin's face. He at last says, "Really? I wasn't aware."

"No one was," Senator Organa replies, "but it's truly happening."

Ahsoka sat back on her heels, slightly disappointed. She had never thought that her master would get the poor senator pregnant. This event had given her an entire new light on the situation.

A sudden thought sparks in her mind and for a minute, she wonders how she would feel if she was the mother of Anakin's children instead of Padmé.

Ahsoka sat there quietly, fantasizing on the thought and then blinks, shaking her head. What was she doing? Surely her master would never feel the same way about her. Or rather, at least not in _that _way. The young Togruta gathered her knees to her chest and tilts her head down towards the room, hoping for some more information to gather.

"Does anyone else know about this?" Ahsoka hears Anakin ask in a low voice and doesn't bother staying around for an answer. She couldn't help but to feel–if anything—a bit indignant in the turn of events. It was already awful enough that she had to murder the one man who she truly loved…and only to see that he obviously had an affair with someone else.

If only it was her…

Ahsoka shook off the thought again with some more force and felt tears sting in her eyes. Why had she bothered to go see Anakin in the first place again? Why did she feel a sudden urge to sneak aboard this ship? She had already had her own time to say good-bye to him…and had decided to see him in the middle of the night before that…

Ahsoka growled out loud in frustration. The answer to all of these questions was embedded in her mind and heart and, unfortunately, she was well aware of all of those answers.

•◊•

After many constant twists and turns, Ahsoka managed to become comfortable in one certain area in the ventilation system that was dark but somewhat refreshing. She allowed herself to curl in a tight ball once more and closed her eyes, wishing for some sleep when her holo-pad went off.

Alert and panicked, Ahsoka moved away from the vent system and quickly accepted the call.

"Did you decide yet?" the man hisses angrily as the blue, hazy image disorients and focuses. Ahsoka swallowed and she looks down.

"Do I even have a proper choice?" she asks at last.

The man shook his head. "Afraid not," he says, smiling.

Ahsoka frowned. "Then why would you bother asking for my opinion?" she asked quietly.

The man examined his nails and says, "It amuses me to see confusion."

Ahsoka's throat tightened and she manages to say, "Confusion is not amusing when you are the target."

The man responded with a quiet chuckle under his breath and says, "I've been watching your every move, Miss Tano. I know that you are on a Republic ship as we speak and, what do you know, the very victim of this murder case is right in front of your eyes. You better get the killing done fast, girl, or else you might not live to see the next rotation."

Ahsoka grits her teeth and hisses, "True as that may be, I'll disappear just as quickly as I disappeared from the other places."

"Aw, no you won't, darling," the man says, his fingers playing across his desk. "Remember, kiddo…I've got eyes everywhere." Ahsoka swallowed and then the man holds up a finger, as though he's waiting. He grins and says, "You might wanna get running."

Ahsoka raised an eye-marking. "What?"

She paused and then the man says, "There are footsteps coming on your end."

Ahsoka's eyes widened and she quickly shut off the holo-pad before crawling away frantically throughout the vents.

"Hey! You!" She heard the gruff voice of a clone trooper shout through the dim, musty system. She winced, wondering how the soldiers of the Republic Army had managed to actually crawl through the small spaces. Luckily for her, Ahsoka had always been quite petite for her age, but on the other hand, clone troopers were built for bulk and strength, which she unfortunately knew too well. Ahsoka could see flashlights glaring from the corner of her eye and quickly made a turn, feeling her breath grow quick and rapid. "Who're you? What are you doing here?" the voice asks angrily from a couple of feet away and Ahsoka swallowed. The clone trooper was probably right on top of her. This wouldn't do.

Ahsoka turned her head from left to right and as quietly but quickly as she could, she slid down from the vent and dropped to the floor of the ship. She heard a couple of alerted and surprised shouts coming from her left and with a start, she could catch the familiar faces of a couple of troopers she had actually fought beside with from her previous life.

"Hey, you!" Another trooper shouts and began running towards her. Ahsoka mumbled a small, '_poodoo_' before taking off from the halls.

Confusion swept throughout the room and she could hear men yelling, "It's her!" or "Is she really there?" and "Who is she?" Ahsoka didn't bother acknowledging any of those questions and ducked into a room as fast as she could as soon as she was sure that the men were far, far away from her.

Here we go again. Ahsoka couldn't help but to think sadly as she poked her head out of the door once more. Jumbles of memories came as wave after wave throughout her mind from the prison chase all those months ago and she closed her eyes briefly, quietly screaming out in pain at all of the sorrow and anger that was mixing up inside of her into one, large lump of emotions.

Ahsoka shook her head, demanding for a wake-up call and ran out of the room. Her senses were blurring together and unfocused from the dreadful tiredness of just merely recalling all of those awful events and she blindly ran down the halls, ducking behind a wall or into an empty room whenever she heard the sound of boots marching on the ground.

She knew she couldn't hide like this forever, but she couldn't risk going into the vents again. After all, the troopers may have decided to post men there. Ahsoka sighed. She was already aware that this was a simple cargo ship, but she had known that there could never be too many clone troopers or security. It was still war time, after all.

Ahsoka let out a small sigh as she began to walk more calmly around the halls, trying to find some sort of possible hiding place for her to sneak away and be able to get back to Coruscant safely without any signs of her being here in the first place. Then, she winced. Well, now that she had been seen by a couple of troopers sort of gave that away…

"Gotcha!" Ahsoka cried out in surprise as a pair of strong arms grabbed her by the back and she struggled furiously, trying to kick at her attacker. "Little sneak on the ship, eh?" a clone trooper's voice growled and Ahsoka stomped on his foot. As soon as his grip loosened, she took off running. "Hey!" he shouts and she ducked as a round of stunning bullets began to come after her. She sighed. She really didn't want to resort to her weapons but in times like these, light sabers had come in handy.

Ahsoka whirled around and ignited the light sabers and began deflecting each bullet in quick, precise and tight movements. No matter how much time passed, she would always, no matter what, have her training stick with her. "She's a Jedi!" another clone exclaims, shocked as she quickly deactivates her blade, turning around to run once more but instead hears a small click and darkness consumed her.

•◊•

As soon as Ahsoka awoke, a strange, sinking feeling in her stomach told her that she was not where she was supposed to be. Ahsoka blinked several times to flash the yellow spots out of her field of vision and, at last, the scowling faces of clone troopers came into focus. "Alright, who exactly are you?" one of them sneered and Ahsoka bit her lip. These were not the men that she had been familiar with before. If anything, they appeared to be completely new and only used for guard duty of a sort, but all the same, she knew to not underestimate them.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Ahsoka replies easily, her eyes defiant and her head held high. For a moment, the entire room was silent and intense. That is, until the trooper sat down at a table and activates the communicator that was tapped into the wrist of his uniform. "General Skywalker, sir?" the trooper asks and Ahsoka felt her heart sink even further.

"_Yes?_" Anakin's voice echoed from the small device and Ahsoka finally dropped her head, feeling somewhat ashamed and angry at having her heart skip a beat—again—at the sound of her former master's voice.

"We caught a stowaway on the ship…and…" the clone trooper's eyes flicked to Ahsoka and back to the communicator in a somewhat uneasy fashion. "She looks angry," he finally reasoned and Ahsoka grit her teeth.

She heard Anakin sigh and closed her eyes. "_I'll be right there,_" he says and the clone trooper turns back to Ahsoka.

"Oh, the general's gonna love this," he muttered sarcastically and Ahsoka bowed her head to the ground once more.

**A/N: Yes, it's been done, I finally finished writing this chapter! I apologize for the late update, but school has been overwhelming me for quite a while and (sadly,) I had quite the writing block. Anyways, Synthetic-Skywalker has edited this chapter...and we'll be back with you for another chapter soon! (Hopefully! :))**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Anakin Skywalker—

Who could possibly have managed to stow away on _his _ship? Anakin had it checked time and time again before leaving, even after leaving, and there had only been the perfect number of life forms on the ship. Whoever got onto his ship must have a natural talent of deceiving Jedi because he certainly could not feel him or her via the Force. Considering he was very sensitive to such an entity, he found it hard to believe he didn't feel whomever was now in the brig on his ship.

He continued down the long, durasteel halls until he was just outside of the door. He could feel the presence of his troopers perfectly, but there was no one else within the room. How was that _possible?_ It unnerved him and flustered him. Mustering up his _General Skywalker _façade, he palmed the panel off to the right of the door. As it slid open, he was in motion, immediately stepping into the room to discover and perhaps interrogate his stowaway.

The only thing that stopped him was that he _knew _this particular stowaway. His heart clenched painfully and his lips parted. How could he not have sensed _her?_ His eyes widened uncharacteristically and he stared at her in shocked awe. "General," the clone said, saluting Anakin instantly. The few other clones around him mimicked the action and Anakin reluctantly removed his focus from the girl and nodded at the clones.

"Guard the door," he ordered. They gave him their affirmative '_yes, sir_' before stepping out into the hall as he requested. He glanced over his shoulder slightly until they were perfectly alone. This was so painful. He returned his focus to the girl before him and he fell to his knees in front of her almost immediately. With one wave of his hand, her restraints opened. He stared up at her from his position on the floor. "How…" He paused, rethinking what he wanted to ask her. The _how _didn't matter. "_What _are you doing here?" he whispered.

Within the last twenty-four hours, he had been shocked considerably _twice._ The first had been the revelation that Padme, his former wife, was _pregnant._ He knew the child was his and he knew what problem that posed for him. The Council would find out and he would be removed from the Order. He supposed it was somewhat worth it. He wouldn't be bound to the Jedi any longer and he would be able to pursue Ahsoka as he has longed to since she left him. He considered caring for the child he and the senator were having as well, but that was the part he was most uncertain about.

As for the second shocking surprise, he now had Ahsoka right before his very eyes. He never would have believed the clone if he'd been told Ahsoka was onboard. He never guessed that it would be her. He supposed that it made sense considering he'd felt her near his quarters recently, but it seemed very odd that she would show up on his ship without something as little as offering a hello.

"It's good to see you, too," she said softly with a small, amused smile.

'_Indeed,_' he thought. His tanned skin flushed a very light shade of pink. It was hardly noticeable, however. "I apologize for such a rude greeting," he countered, teasing her. He rose to his full height and waited for her to stand as well. He rested his gloved, flesh hand on her shoulder and returned the smile, though it was softer. The happiness conveyed by his smile touched his eyes and it emanated from his very being. He was hiding absolutely nothing from her. It was one of the many things she did to him. He had such a hard time controlling himself at times. He needed to work on that. "I'm very happy to see you again, Snips."

The joy radiating off of him served as proof of that. He was hardly able to contain his delight at seeing his apprentice once again. He had missed her so much and now he had her in his presence once again. An unsettling thought crossed his mind though, obliterating the bright, overjoyed shield he'd surrounded himself with. How long would she be with him?

She laughed, shaking her head for a brief moment before looking up at him, lifting an eye marking. "I see you haven't changed much, Skyguy." Oh, how he missed hearing her call him that. What had once been childish was now endearing. The nickname had grown on him as his nickname for her had grown on her. "How have you been?"

He could see what she was doing now and it hurt him slightly. His initial question still hung in the air, left for her to answer, though she refused to at this particular moment in time. "Ahsoka, what are you doing here?" he asked again. She frowned, all amusement gone. "Don't get me wrong," he stammered. "I like that you're here. I just want to know… why."

She bit her lip gently and that worried him. It was her nervous tendency. She obviously wasn't here to vacation with him despite the fact that there was still a war raging around them. "I…I just needed a place to stay," she finally said. Judging by the way she was guarding her mind from him, he _knew _she was lying to him. She always had so much difficulty when it came to lying to him, though she _had _gotten away with it once or twice. Well, as far as he knew anyway. Force knows how many lies he's been told. He crossed his arms over his broad, muscled chest, raising an eyebrow. She sighed and bowed her head. "And you don't believe me, do you?"

"I want to," he said slowly.

"Why can't you?" she asked harshly, glaring softly at him. She never intimidated him, even when she'd come just as close as he had to touching the dark side. He only feared that he may not be able to stop her because he could hardly control himself when he went too far. At this particular moment, he could see some deep resentment in her eyes and he wondered who that was directed at. If it was him, he wondered what he'd done to make her resent him. He could have done a number of things, many of them he knew he'd resented Obi-Wan for once upon a time.

He sighed and loosened his grip on his biceps, not realizing until that moment that he'd put plenty of stressed out pressure on his muscles. It was a pressure he didn't need right now. _This _was a pressure he didn't need right now. He was still her Master, even if she was no longer a Jedi. He held an air of authority that would more than likely never dissipate between them, even though he loved her.

He shook his head and lifted both hands to rest them upon her shoulders. He wanted to blame it on the fact that she'd abandoned him, left him right on the Temple stairs for everyone to see from afar. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't qualified to be trusted by him any longer, but he couldn't bring himself to say just that, knowing it would break his heart as much as it would break hers. "I have had…difficulty," he whispered, letting his gaze fall to the floor momentarily before lifting it to meet her eyes, "trusting anyone. I'm not sure who I can or cannot trust and I'm not sure what I can or cannot believe." It was true. He had commed Padme almost twenty minutes ago to discover that the claims were true and he'd nearly collapsed in front of the holo-table.

He'd been careless and sloppy. He, above all else, could not trust or believe himself. If he couldn't do that, he couldn't do that for anyone else either. Her glare dissipated and her lips parted. She said something similar to him upon leaving. Was this his way of getting back at her? _No._ Ahsoka knew Anakin would never do that to her. Angry at her or not, Anakin would never plot some kind of revenge or guilt trip on her. "Master…"

It left her lips before she could stop it and her eyes widened when his darkened and dulled simultaneously as he flinched. He didn't want to hear that title any more than he wanted to deal with the fact that he'd failed as her Master. "Ahsoka, you are not my apprentice," he said, pained. She never would be his apprentice again. They both knew that. She resigned and, though he would welcome her back instantaneously, the Council was less likely to allow her entrance. It was all so unfair. He should have been able to prevent this. He could still have an easy going conversation with her and not worry about saying the wrong thing or having the wrong thing said _to _him.

His words lingered in the air between them. Ahsoka soaked up the sadness behind his statement while Anakin drowned in his misery. Would this ever end? He firmly believed he would be much happier if he saw her again. She was _right here._ Why wasn't he happy? "I'm sorry," she said quietly, nervously. She was reluctant to say anything now and he knew it.

"Don't," he managed. It was far too painful to let her apologize for something he lost control over. He never should have allowed Ahsoka to see that damned woman alone. Had he gone with her or kept her from going, she never would have been accused of killing Letta Turmond and none of this hell would have come to be. He closed his eyes, trying to stay strong. He did this on a daily basis when he thought about her in his solitude. Why couldn't he do it now? He was ready to let the dam burst and allow the tears to trail down his face. He would never be able to apologize enough for failing her as he had.

"Anakin." Her small hands held his cybernetic _fist._ He opened his eyes to a blurred, orange mass. He was trembling slightly and his hands were balled up tightly into fists. His anger was flaring and it was all directed inwardly. "Do you still blame yourself?" she asked sadly, staring directly into his eyes. He would not lie to her no matter how badly he wanted to.

"Yes." He would always blame himself. The Council thought him to be unworthy of training a Padawan and this entire situation had proved them right. He was incapable of saving his apprentice. How could he ever bring balance to anything if he could not balance the life of his apprentice?

"I don't want you to," she said roughly. It wasn't like he could help it. He blamed himself out of habit. When things went wrong, he rarely blamed anyone else for it externally. Internally, he knew he was absolutely at fault. He was absolutely flawed despite the way he was perceived on the HoloNet. He wished he could be that perfect, that heroic. Instead, he was imperfect and cowardly.

No, he did not run from the clankers out on the field. No, he did not easily turn his flagship away from a space battle despite orders to retreat. No, he was not cowardly when it came to the part of him that was General of the Galactic Army of the Republic. He was cowardly when it came to _her._ Ahsoka has been his weakness since the day he realized his feelings for her went beyond that of their Master and apprentice bond. He ran from his feelings and _became _a clanker. He was so unfeeling, so nonchalant. The only emotion that was ever easily driven from him was _anger._ He had so much of it pent up within himself.

It was his fault that she was no longer his protégé. It was his fault that she'd been blamed. It was his fault that Padme was pregnant. It was his fault. Everything was his fault. All he'd wanted since discovering his feelings for Ahsoka was to know that maybe she reciprocated those feelings, even if it was only slightly. Any indication of love or something similar would give him reason to continue on without struggling to rouse himself in the morning and leave his bed.

He needed incentive to continue his role in the galaxy and Ahsoka had been just that since her arrival. The day she left, she took his purpose with her. She took his heart with her as well. However, he could feel it once again. Ahsoka was his heart. How could he blame himself when he felt so much love for this young girl? He internally shook himself. He had to stop blaming himself for the past and live in the here and now. Damn. He realized with a subtle grimace that he was lecturing himself as Obi-Wan had lectured him as a Padawan. He sighed, feeling the warmth inside of him return and grow as he nodded and smiled softly, saying, "I missed you, Snips."

**A/N: This chapter was written by Synthetic-Skywalker. Please review! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

Ahsoka Tano—

"I missed you, too, M—Anakin." Ahsoka caught herself and paused, feeling her lekku stripes temporarily darken before getting her emotions under control once more. When was the last time she had said her former master's name out loud?

_Anakin. _

The name sounded so bittersweet on her tongue, bringing both good and bad memories from the very first day they had met to the last time they had encountered each other—the fateful day in which Ahsoka decided to walk away from the Order…and Anakin.

For several tense moments, the two did not speak until at last, Anakin says in a quiet voice, "So are you really just here because you needed a place to stay? I never thought that you were one to crawl onto a ship to find one." Ahsoka blinked. She wasn't quite sure if she heard a faint, teasing note in Anakin's voice, but couldn't risk allowing the small smile that was fighting to spread across her lips.

She managed to look up at Anakin's blue eyes and say simply, "I…might have mixed up the ships." She paused and felt a stab of embarrassment and guilt nudge its way into her. Her shoulders dropped slightly and muttered, "You don't believe that either."

"Why would I?" Ahsoka felt her sorrow bury itself even deeper when she listens to the strained anger in Anakin's voice. "You never hid things from me Ahsoka…Not a lot, anyways," he says.

Ahsoka felt her entire body tighten and she replied in a calm voice, "I'm not trying to hide anything from you, Anakin. It's simply—"

Her voice got cut off from the beeping at her hips from the small holopad hooked to her belt. Ahsoka's eyes flickered down at the device and she felt a small flame of panic bloom in her chest. '_Not now,_' she thinks indignantly to herself as her hand slowly closed over the still-beeping holopad. Anakin sighed and he took a small step back. "You should take that," he said dully. Ahsoka winced and she bit down on her lip. She weighed out her options. She could either take this call and get the conversation over with or reach down and shut the device off. Ahsoka knew that both ways, she'd have to pay some sort of price. She opened her mouth to make a small apology and then stopped.

Her small hand curled into a small fist of frustration and she forced on a smile and she slowly clicked off the holopad. She did it easily enough, but a cold feeling had already settled on her chest.

_I have eyes everywhere._ Those words echoed into her head once more and she swallowed. It was ridiculous that she felt fear—fear for herself, fear for Anakin, fear for this entire situation. It was times like these when Ahsoka thought that her life was so much simpler when all she had to do was take down a fleet of Separatist ships or get into a droid factory and bring the entire facility down to the ground.

_Not anymore._

"Ahsoka?" Anakin asks curiously and Ahsoka blinked, looking back up. For a moment, all of the dread inside of her slowly ebbed and melted away as a small, teasing smile slowly spread across Anakin's face. "You were gone there for a minute," he said.

Ahsoka sighed and murmurs, "Sorry. I guess I was distracted." She managed to brighten up and said, "But I shut off the holopad so we can…catch up on things."

Ahsoka inwardly winced at how overly cheery her voice sounded to her, but instead of acting critical and suspicious, Anakin seemed to take the gesture gratefully and he says, "Firstly, let's get out of here."

Ahsoka smirked and she followed him out of the room. For a while, Ahsoka felt a quiet serenity drape over her like a warm blanket as they walked together throughout the halls of the ship. She smiled wistfully to herself. It had been a while since she felt this safe before. Of course, there would be some sort of way for the dangers to crawl back into her mind, but she allowed her muscles and mind to relax for just now…After all, when would be the next time that Ahsoka would have this chance?

For all that Ahsoka knew, Anakin may be dead within the next twenty-four hours by her own hand.

_'Stop. You are spending time with him now. Enjoy it while you can!'_ Ahsoka thought and stopped in the middle of the hallway, already feeling a headache pounding throughout her brain. She closed her eyes briefly and took in deep breaths. Ahsoka couldn't believe that this was happening right _now_. She had always been rather controlled when dealing with stress, but her anxiety had taken on a completely new level. Ahsoka felt her throat close up. She couldn't think properly, she couldn't concentrate, she was losing focus, what would—

Suddenly, a warm hand presses against Ahsoka's shoulder and she felt her eyes snap open. Her field of vision was downwards towards the ground and her eyes slowly lifted to look over at Anakin's face. Her worry faltered again and he frowned. "You alright, Snips? I sense—" He stopped and Ahsoka stiffened. She didn't exactly know how to explain it, but she knew as well as Anakin that it…simply felt _wrong _to say something like that. "–that you've been acting a bit unusual." Anakin finally settled and Ahsoka shrugged his hand off, feeling pain poke at her again with every movement.

"Oh, you know…I'm busy, that's all." Ahsoka said, walking ahead.

Anakin crossed his arms and walked after her. "With what?" he asked. "I figured that you'd get some sort of job after—" The next words were somewhat mumbled and then he goes on, "What did you do?"

_'Why, Anakin, I became a bounty hunter and yes, I actually hurt people and sometimes kill them to satisfy my clients, but that's okay, because you won't be alive to know the rest of my life after I left.' _

The thought itself was so absurd in Ahsoka's mind that she actually almost snorted out in laughter. Instead, she shrugged and said in a short, simple sentence, "I've been organizing authority."

Well, it wasn't exactly the proper words, but it certainly fit the description of a bounty hunter…of a sort. After all, the truth wasn't exactly so simple, right? Besides, Ahsoka's had experience—if anything, _too much experience_—in wording her phrases in such a way to not give away any information about herself.

Of course, her answer could have just been a simple lie, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Ahsoka couldn't explain it. She had already managed to lie about the very reason she was on the ship, but that was her edge right there. It was a queer feeling, to be honest. When she was still a young, innocent apprentice, she was able to fib right off the mark if she needed to.

However, now that so much corruption and deceit has been spreading, Ahsoka wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she told Anakin yet _another _falsehood. She couldn't _stand _it. Since when did Anakin ever affect her capabilities to protect her secrets?

_'Maybe ever since I loved him,'_ Ahsoka thought sadly to herself and frowned. Damn it; that was the tricky thing about attachment. If you think about one person and become somewhat grown towards him, he is stuck in your mind for the rest of your days until you're smart enough to pull away.

"Organizing authority? As in, being some sort of law enforcer?" Anakin asked quizzically.

Ahsoka smiled weakly and said, "That's one way to put it."

That wasn't a direct lie, either. Most of her victims were people who were simply low-life criminals who needed to be caught. She wasn't quite fond of the police—most of them were clone troopers, and she'd rather not face them after all of those incidents that happened not too long ago.

Anakin smirked—the first actual sign that told Ahsoka that maybe he wasn't completely different from the last time they had talked. "That's good, Snips," Anakin said lightly and she felt a small flush of pride before realizing that entire statement was another half-lie. Ahsoka bit the inside of her cheek and fought the urge to let out a long, piercing scream. Why couldn't she just come out and tell the truth? _Why?!_

•◊•

Ahsoka waited patiently outside of Anakin's quarters as he and Senator Organa talked matters over in hushed tones. She couldn't decipher most of their words but a couple times, she thought that she heard her name being repeated. Her lekku stripes darkened in bitterness and she inspected the cuticles of her nails, pretending to have no interest or thought on the matter whatsoever.

At last, the door slid open and Ahsoka casually looked over at Anakin, who had a somewhat sheepish and embarrassed smile on his face. "Well, Ahsoka, we've tried getting you a room," he said. Ahsoka frowned.

_'A room?'_

"Apparently, there isn't one available," Anakin continued.

Ahsoka rubbed her forearms. "That's fine. I can go sleep in the hanger or—"

"That actually won't be necessary," Senator Organa says kindly and she slowly looked back up at the two men.

"Oh?" She asked, raising an eye marking.

"It seems like you're staying with me, Snips." Anakin laughs, but Ahsoka could detect a couple of traces of nervousness in his voice. Then again, why wouldn't he be nervous? She couldn't quite place a finger on the matter herself.

"We'll have some sort of extra cot dragged in," Organa explained and Ahsoka nodded somewhat gratefully. Yes, she was appreciative for the gesture, only, first of all, she wasn't even supposed to have been discovered on the ship and secondly, her mind was still trying to wrap around the fact that she and Anakin would be sleeping in the same room.

It wasn't that large of a problem, since after all, she had seen him sleep multiple times. But all the same, she couldn't help but to feel the nervous flutter in her heart as she looked up at those brilliant, blue eyes again. Ahsoka swallowed. She couldn't help but feel her lekku darken and, blinking, she quickly walked into the room and pretended to be rather interested on the shape of her nails.

She could feel Senator Organa's eyes flick between Anakin and her and, sensing the awkwardness that had risen to its peak, cleared his throat and says, "I'll leave you two alone. It appears that there's something that should be discussed."

"No, it's not—" Ahsoka started abruptly, but the older man had already walked out of the room and shut the door. She sighed and covered her face with her palms, shaking her small head.

"So…do we have something to talk about?" she heard Anakin ask quietly.

"Of course we don't," she said quickly and felt her lekku stripes darken even more. "I mean, I don't think so," she mumbles and lifted her hands towards the ceiling.

"Oh. That's what I thought," Anakin said haltingly and Ahsoka rubbed her forearms.

"Thanks for offering me to stay here, though," Ahsoka said after a couple of moments of awkward silence. "I figured that you wouldn't want me to be in your room because after all, I'm not exactly your apprentice anymore." Those words sounded harsher to her montrals as soon as she said it. She winced and says, "I don't mean it like—"

"No," Anakin said quietly, his hands clasped behind his back. His eyes were downcast and he nods. "I understand." Ahsoka felt pain throb through her heart once more and then Anakin looks over to the door. "I'll go check if the cot is here yet," he says, and turns around, walking to the other side of the room.

Ahsoka pressed her lips tight together as she watched his graceful figure head to the door and felt her feet shuffling forward, as though dragged by some sort of force. She should have just let Anakin walk out of the room and give herself some time to talk to her client, or at least stall for some more time. Instead, she whispers, "Wait."

Anakin's head turns a fraction of an inch, but Ahsoka could spot his blue irises focused onto hers with a great intensity. She swallowed and ran forward. Realizing that she only needed to take five steps to be face to face with him, she stops quickly and clears her throat.

"_Um…_" Her mind was suddenly blank and Anakin looks at her expectedly.

"Yes, Ahsoka?" he asks halfheartedly.

"I…" Ahsoka starts and inwardly moaned. What was the matter with her? Why couldn't she just form her words?

Anakin sighed. "You know what, tell me later. I'll just check on the—"

"No!" Ahsoka cries forcefully and grabbed his arm. She felt tingles go up her entire body and she stared at her hand that was gripping tightly onto her former master's strong limb. Feeling heat rise to her face, she slowly loosened her hold and whispers, "I just wanted to let you know that…I'm grateful."

Anakin stared at Ahsoka and she slowly let go of his arm. Her hands were still in position of holding something and she quickly stretched out her fingers, trying to get rid of the feeling that was spreading all over her body.

Then, Anakin gave Ahsoka a quick, confused smile and said, "I'm glad, then." With a blink, he shook his head and hurriedly walks out of the room. Ahsoka paused, watching him leave and sighed. She slumped down to the floor and rested her head in her arms that were folded over her knees. Ahsoka could hear her heartbeat creating a loud _thump_ing noise in her chest and could feel the warmth of her breath settle over her hands.

She had never felt so guilty in her life.

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, everyone! *winces* But I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Anakin Skywalker–

Anakin did as he'd said he would; he checked to see if the troopers had moved one of the spare cots from the storage area and they had. They were moving it to his quarters for Ahsoka. He just… Even after that, he couldn't go back to see her. Something had changed since he'd seen her last. She was secretive. He assumed she'd never told him the _whole_ truth, but he hadn't either when he was Obi-Wan's apprentice. He didn't expect Ahsoka to be one hundred percent honest with him. He _did _expect her to be open with him though and she wasn't doing that.

He felt as though his heart was being torn apart piece by painstaking piece. He didn't buy a single word she'd told him thus far and he _hated_ feeling like that. He held Ahsoka close to his heart, closer than anyone else, and she couldn't even return that. He trusted her—or at least _wanted_ to trust her. How could he though? Ahsoka wasn't the same girl he'd spent a good portion of the war fighting alongside. She was someone else, someone he didn't know. He was shaken out of his thoughts as a deep voice startled him. "General Skywalker? The Admiral needs you on the bridge."

He nodded appreciatively. "Thank you, Rex," he said quietly. He walked past his captain and made his way towards the blast doors that led to the bridge. Once he was inside, he strode across the durasteel strip between the stations to stand beside Admiral Yularen. "Admiral," he greeted, bowing his head respectfully.

"General Skywalker, we have just reached Alderaan. However, we may have a problem."

Anakin's eyebrow rose fractionally. "Oh?" he asked, laughing a little. "What might this problem be?"

"That," the Admiral replied, lifting his chin towards the viewing port. Anakin glanced outside and his eyes widened. He hadn't expected the see an entire fleet barricading Alderaan. He hadn't expected a barricade _period._

"I see." He turned, preparing to dash down to the hangar. "Get my squadron ready. Do not engage, Admiral. The ship is still damaged from our last battle."

"Sir!" he called out as Anakin was nearly through the blast doors. The young Jedi General turned to face the Admiral. "Your squadron is out of commission."

"I beg your pardon?" he asked hysterically. Surely he hadn't heard the Admiral right?

"Before we departed from Coruscant, I was told that your squadron would be taking leave, sir." Anakin's jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"Under whose authority?" he barked. His hands were balled into fists and his anger was flaring. Who in their right mind would take _his _squadron off of the ship? He _always _had them prepped and ready just in case a situation like this arose, which almost always happened when it came to a mission he was part of.

He wasn't prepared to hear the next statement and, quite frankly, he lost control after it was made. "Yours, sir."

"Are you telling me that my squad is still on Coruscant and _I _gave the order for them to _stay?_" He would have known if he'd given that command and he _knew _he hadn't. There was no way he would have let his squad leave the ship, especially since he _knew _he would be going on this mission. His supply missions usually consisted of engaging the enemy at least once. He wasn't disappointed, though he wished he was. He wouldn't be able to take out the enemy fighters since he had none of his own and his ship wouldn't be able to withstand the brunt of the other ships' fire. "What _do _we have onboard?"

He would discover how this had all come about _later._ Right now, his mission came before the issue of his missing fighters. "Sir, your starfighter is the only fighter we have, but–"

"Stay out of their line of fire, Admiral," he ordered, turning quickly. He was gone before he could hear anything else that would add more fuel to his anger. He knew his fighter alone wouldn't be enough to take out the fleet, but he would try. He needed to at least stall them and give his flagship enough time to land the supplies, even if that meant he was killed. Anything for the mission, right? Jedi are meant to be selfless and he wasn't about to be selfish. The people of Alderaan needed these supplies more than he needed his life.

He raced through the corridors as the alarms blared overhead. A red light flooded each corridor as the enemy began firing on them, immediately rendering a majority of their power useless. He would be lucky if he actually made it out of the hangar at this point. "Sir–"

He didn't have time to receive orders. He wouldn't stay onboard and allow the Separatists this victory. The golden starfighter was within sight and he sped towards it, leaping up onto the wing and prying the canopy open. He sunk into it and immediately began prepping it for takeoff. His thrusters weren't at their full capacity, but he would make the best of it. He was frustrated with himself for not taking the time to properly fix his fighter and flagship, but he was angry at whoever took his squad off duty. It wasn't like his men were the only things missing. Their fighters were gone, which meant he couldn't have anyone take their place at his side out there.

Anakin would be absolutely alone out there.

The canopy shut and all of the voices telling him to stop were shut out. He pulled his headset out of the compartment to his right and put it on, immediately connecting to the bridge. "Admiral," he said loudly, hoping it got through.

"_General?_"

"Open the hangar doors."

"_Sir, you can't be–_"

"Admiral," he growled, "we don't have time to delay. Open the hangar doors."

"_You must be mad._" He knew the Admiral was likely shaking his head in disapproval right now and it didn't matter. He didn't understand Anakin's nature. Perhaps Anakin _was _mad, but he was taking other lives and needs into consideration before his own.

The Admiral complied and the doors split above him. He breathed in slowly before flying up through them. He had enough missiles to cripple at least two of the three ships. That wasn't the issue. It was the other fighters he was concerned with. If he let even _one _get past him, his own ship would be crippled. He remembered a time when Ahsoka argued with him for being so reckless, always putting his life on the line when it probably wasn't necessary. '_Well, I suppose things haven't changed much then,_' he thought as he rested his thumb on his control stick, preparing to fire.

•◊•

A bright light brought Anakin out of his unconsciousness. His eyes fluttered open slowly to the sound of alarmed and satisfied voices. Had he won? He felt a small hand on his chest and lifted his flesh hand slowly, feeling as though it were anchored down. Despite that, he managed to rest his hand on top of the other one. "Anakin?" the small, very feminine voice whispered to him, startled. His eyes only saw a blur of light, multiple colors surrounding him. He couldn't make out much of anything and it perturbed him. _What_ had happened to him? "Anakin, can you hear me?"

He failed to speak, his throat dry and his voice _gone._ His vision was beginning to clear at a slow pace, but he could now see the worry and concern on Ahsoka's face. He struggled to smile, but managed that as well. "He will recover fully soon," a mechanical voice said from somewhere behind his head. _His head._ It was throbbing and he could feel his heart beating much harder than usual. It took a lot of effort to breathe properly.

He stared up at Ahsoka, wishing he could speak now. He wanted to ask _her_ what happened, but he couldn't. She seemed to notice the wild look in his eyes. He never did like being left out of the loop and Ahsoka was determined to bring him back into it despite being upset with him for his reckless actions once more. "You were briefly exposed to space," she said quietly. "We thought you'd died instantly, and…you kind of did." His eyes widened, mute shock on his face. "The droid was able to bring you back somehow. It said that your midichlorian count, since it's so high, may have saved your life, Anakin."

He _really _wished he could speak now. He glanced around and gripped Ahsoka's hand in his flesh hand, using his cybernetic hand to point towards a holopad. He could use that to communicate with her temporarily. She raised an eye marking before nodding. She left him for all of five seconds, which allowed him to push himself up into a moderately decent sitting position, and brought the holopad right back to him. He gave her a small smile and turned it on, sliding his cybernetic fingers over the pad to write. The letters appeared on the screen and formed what he realized subconsciously was something he wanted to say to her. She read his, "I'm so sorry."

She shook her head and smiled weakly at him, clearly hurt. "Don't be sorry, Anakin." Something in her seemed so much different to Anakin. He felt anxiety and a very abnormal level of fear in her. She noticed the way he was looking at her and turned away, lowering her gaze to the floor. "I thought you were gone," she whispered.

He frowned and began writing on the holopad again. "I didn't mean to worry you. I was trying to help." He nudged her shoulder gently until she looked at him, then he showed her the holo. She sighed and rested one hand on his shoulder. What was she so afraid of? She was aboard his ship, with his troops, with _him._ He would protect her. He would _never_ let anyone hurt– This time, _he _was the one to look away. He'd failed her before. _That_ was the look she was giving him. He was once again a failure in her eyes. Of course, Master Skywalker couldn't do _every_ single thing right. He erased the message on the screen and wrote something else, then handed it to her and laid back down once she had it in her hands.

He told her he wanted to rest. He suggested that she return to their quarters and do the same. He didn't want her to stand here and look at him like this or feel this way around him. "Anakin, what's wrong?" she inquired when he closed his eyes tightly. He rested his hands on his abdomen and tried to relax. "Anakin," she said firmly.

Without opening his eyes, he lifted one hand and pointed at the door, silently asking her to leave. He felt anger and hurt surge through her, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes and look at her again. His recklessness almost killed him. _Again._ She'd looked at him like he betrayed her. _Again._

He felt her lingering at his side and he gave up, resting his hand on his other one again. If she wanted to stay, so be it. He couldn't talk to her just yet and he refused to open his eyes and look at her when she was looking at him like that. He mentally scoffed at himself. '_Look at you. You're the Hero With No Fear. You're reduced to a helpless _child_ by your former Padawan. Smooth, Skywalker._'

He was really beginning to hate his own mental voice. It had taunted him so much since Ahsoka left him and it continued to do just that even _with_ her here at his side. He heard her move away from him and he assumed that she was finally going to leave him, which suddenly sent despair coursing through him. Before he could move or even open his eyes to beg _mutely _for her to stay, a chair skidded across the floor and thumped beside his medical bed. He risked opening his eyes a little to see her sitting beside him, arms crossed over her chest in defiance. Anakin smiled a little, and then closed his eyes once again. For whatever reason, he felt a bit safer with her at his side. It felt just like it had while she was his Padawan.

Ahsoka was his beacon of light out on the battlefield. She was this same beacon now, when he needed her nearby.

**A/N: This chapter was written by Synthetic-Skywalker. Reviews would be nice! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

Ahsoka Tano—

Ahsoka stayed with Anakin for what seemed like hours. She couldn't shake off the feeling that if she left him, he would get into more trouble. That always seemed to happen. Ahsoka smirked to herself—how ironic, seeing how she was supposed to be the one to end his life.

Her throat closed and she peered down at the ground, suddenly feeling guilt rage through her once more. When Anakin had temporarily stopped breathing, she had actually felt a small amount of relief trickle through from her heart and needless to say, she felt _so ashamed_.

How could she feel relief in seeing Anakin's life coming to an end?

Her hands curled up into fists and she sighed. No, her relief didn't come from vengeance or anger; it came from the relief where _she_ wouldn't be the one responsible for his passing. She frowned to herself. Would that be selfish? She wasn't quite sure anymore.

Ahsoka bit her lip. It wasn't right of her to be _glad _that Anakin was gone—but it wouldn't be right for her to actually look forward to killing him either. Frustrated, Ahsoka rested her forehead on the palm of her hand. Her eyes wandered over to Anakin's resting form and she couldn't help but smile. It had always been this way even when she was still his apprentice—no matter the situation, a small smile just had to make its way into her lips over how _gorgeous_ he was. Ahsoka blinked and self-absently felt her lekku stripes darken.

It was dangerous to have these kind of thoughts, this she knew all too well, but for a while, she spent those blissful moments alone to marvel over her former master—over his dark hair, over his eyes, his lips—everything. Even the small scar that ran down his eye seemed to make him look just as handsome as ever.

She would never tell that to Anakin though. No, she wouldn't even_ tell_ him about what she thought about his appearance, let alone his scar. Ahsoka knew that he loathed that small 'imperfection' on his face—the reminder that being a hero came at a cost.

Not to mention his hand—the cybernetic hand that clung onto Anakin's arm. Ahsoka had grown so accustomed to seeing it, she didn't even mind when Anakin would take the dark glove off and begin working on it in the ungodly hours of the morning. Of course, Ahsoka didn't think she ever gave away the fact that she had sometimes watched her master when he wasn't even aware.

Despite the small 'imperfections' though, Ahsoka admired Anakin _so_ much and cared for him so much more that it hurt. Time always seemed to slow down and yet, every single smile that flits across his face, every single laugh that he utters was another knife to the heart.

Ahsoka almost snorted out loud to herself. Her thoughts sounded pathetic to her. This may have just been another sappy, cliché holovid for her. Ahsoka let out an exaggerated puff of breath and crossed her arms. Honest to the bone, it was awfully annoying how the living Force just _loved_ to test her. For once, she could use some peace in her life.

Not that she didn't like excitement, of course. Years of being Anakin Skywalker's Padawan had allowed her to enjoy the scramble and rush for getting ready for some sort of battle or skirmish. It wasn't as though she enjoyed seeing men die each and every day…more like having comfort in being able to fight for freedom.

This time, Ahsoka actually _did_ snort in exasperation. Closure was getting the best of her not-so-sane mind. Rubbing her temples, Ahsoka stood up and stretched out her arms. Suddenly, the ever existent sound of her holopad began beeping from her belt and she felt her entire body tense. Looking carefully around the room, she crept out into the hallway and snuck into Anakin's quarters on the ship.

It wasn't exactly an air vent to hide away in, but it would do for now. Besides, she had the feeling that no one would be coming here. With a quick swipe of her hand, Ahsoka answered the call, an icy stare already etched into her eyes.

"_You are making me impatient, Tano,_" the man growls angrily. "_Is he dead or not?_"

Ahsoka pretended to inspect her nails and says, "He almost died today—who knows, he might do the job for you." She made her voice light and reckless, but each word felt like a searing ember embedding itself into her tongue.

The man made a small chuckling sound and shook his head. "_Skywalker…known for playing hero boy, after all,_" He says coldly and he tapped his fingers across the surface of his desk. "_But that doesn't mean you're off the hook just yet._" He adds and Ahsoka simply nods.

"I've realized that," she says coolly. "However, I don't like being rushed into a job either. This isn't easy; I hope you realize that."

The man slammed a hand on his desk. "_Don't give me any of that shit,_" he says cruelly. "_You're a frakkin' Jedi for kriff's sake!_"

"_Former_ Jedi," Ahsoka corrected through gritted teeth. "And that doesn't affect my ability to kill."

The man laughed quietly under his breath. "_You're wrong about that, Tano. You fight better than anyone else in the business and you know that as well as I do, so don't give me any of this bantha crap and we'll all get along nicely._" Ahsoka felt her anger flare and she nods. "_And don't try avoiding my calls from now on—I'll still be watching,_" the man hisses and with that, the call ended. As soon as his blue image died, Ahsoka stuffed the holopad in her belt and kicked at the ground.

Standing up, Ahsoka made a silent vow to herself—

_The second this job is finished, I swear I'll get out of the bounty hunter business. _

•◊•

Ahsoka walked back into the medical ward, feeling tired out by her brief discussion with the son of a bantha who had the nerve to call himself _humane._ She sat herself down next to Anakin, her arms crossed and stiff with anger. She took a deep breath and slowly loosened her muscles.

Out of all people, why did it have to be her with this job? She didn't need the blood on her hands! Her eyes hardened and she rubbed her temples once more. Back when Ahsoka was younger and unfortunately, naïve, she had figured that bounty hunting was easier for most people, despite the fact that the entire concept was hurting people for a couple of credits.

Ahsoka shook her head, smiling bitterly to herself. Oh, how _innocent _she had been…how _clueless_. Ahsoka closed her eyes and sighed.

_If she could go back now…_

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt Anakin stiffen beside her. "Anakin?" Ahsoka whispers, glancing down at him. She waited for a response and when none came, she asks, "Are you awake? Can you hear me?" Instead, she watched as Anakin's eyelids squeezed shut and his hands clenched into fists. He jerked his head from side to side and, with eyes widened, Ahsoka rested a hand on his shoulder. "Anakin—" she starts and then cries out despite herself as he jerks away. Anakin violently kicked at the blankets, sweat droplets sliding down his skin. "Anakin!" Ahsoka shouts and grabs him by the arm. "Stop it!"

For tense moments, Anakin continued to writhe around and Ahsoka's hand squeezed tighter around his arm. At last, his eyes opened and Ahsoka sighs. He swallowed and his breath came out in ragged huffs. Ahsoka felt tears sting at her eyes and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She rested a hand on Anakin's sweat-matted hair and for the first time in a long time, she tried calming him through the Force.

She could feel him stiffen from underneath her arms, but it didn't matter to her. She wanted to be _there_ for him—she wanted to be able to stay with him just a little longer and live in this small fairy-tale that wouldn't exist in a couple of days.

Ahsoka closed her eyes and she rested her head on Anakin's shoulder. It was an awkward and slightly uncomfortable position, being that Anakin was still resting in bed and Ahsoka was sitting up. She had to bend down slightly and, yes, it made her entire body ache, but feeling Anakin's heartbeat underneath her was worth it.

Ahsoka was grateful that Anakin didn't appear to be able to speak—she wasn't quite sure _what _she would want to hear from him at this very minute.

It didn't matter to her anymore.

Gradually, Ahsoka's grip loosened and was surprised to feel tears drop from her eyes. Anakin was staring solemnly up at her and, furious, she rubbed at her eyes. Why of all times did she have to cry now? _Force, _she was being such a kriffin' wimp.

Taking a shaky breath, Ahsoka turned on her heel and ran out of the room as fast as she could.

•◊•

Ahsoka hadn't ever felt more relieved when she slipped into the cot that was brought into Anakin's quarters. She wanted to bury herself in some space and just wallow in her own self-pity for the night, no matter how pathetic and silly it sounded.

At one point, Ahsoka had actually laughed out loud at how stupid she must have looked if her past self was to appear in front of her right now. Why, if that really did happen, her younger self would probably march right up to Ahsoka and give her a smart smack across the face for being such a basket case.

She sighed and turned to lay on her back, her hands resting behind her head. It felt quiet and lonely in Anakin's quarters all alone, but she needed it—she needed time to think to herself. An uneasy pit developed in Ahsoka's stomach. All the same, it would have been comforting to listen to him sleeping—_yes, the very thought of listening to him sleep was comforting enough to her._ Ahsoka shook her head to herself in annoyance and rolled onto her side.

Her feelings had strengthened for Anakin ever since she came aboard this kriffin' ship. _Absence of an existence made a heart grow fonder—_that was what Ahsoka had heard once on a particular day while taking a quick stroll around the Temple. Now that she gave the memory some thought, she wasn't quite sure why a Jedi would ever say something like that but then again, she wasn't quite surprised by anything these days.

Ahsoka stared up at the ceiling. Her thoughts began to wander back to Padme's pregnancy and she winced almost out of _instinct_. She sighed wistfully in the empty air. She had done a lot of sighing lately—much more than she would consider good enough to be considered as healthy.

So many fantasies and useless dreams running through her head—it was distracting her from reality and life. Ahsoka smiled though. Senator Admidala's children would undoubtedly be beautiful, very much like his or her mother and father, but all the same, Ahsoka couldn't help but feel somewhat envious.

With a frown of disgust and distaste, Ahsoka turned over onto her stomach and let out a scream in the cot's surface. Emotion had become her number one enemy so far—sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, hatred—and she didn't need any of these feelings!

"Oh, Ahsoka," she says out loud to herself, her voice slightly muffled from the fabric on the cot. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering…" Turning around onto her back once more, she whispers, "And you've just had _so much suffering_."

With a heavy heart, Ahsoka closed her eyes and slowly drifted into sleep, where it would hopefully offer her some peace and sanctuary before the next day which would undoubtedly be ready to pounce on her with a chain of events that would lead to more fear, anger, and, sadly, suffering.

**A/N: This chapter was written by me-reviews would be appreciated! :)**


End file.
